This Saturday at 10.20am, all eyes can be on King Charles and Camilla as they journey the 1.3 miles from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey of their £1.5m Diamond jubilee state coach. That’s roughly a £10 experience in an Uber. At 1pm, they may return to Buckingham Palace of their £3.5m gold state coach, once more drawn by six Windsor Gray horses. There they may seem on the balcony for a ceremonial flypast. Or, if you happen to desire, Channel 4 is displaying Frasier, Johnny English Strikes Once more and Formulation E.
What does it really feel like understanding half of the world can be settling down with their prosecco and Pringles to gawp at you? There must be an administrative error of cataclysmic proportions for me to be by chance topped king, and even to share a part of the massive day with him. However I can discover out what it’s prefer to be a part of the royal fuss. Bafta-winning film-maker, artist and photographer Alison Jackson – well-known for capturing a pretend Diana flicking the Vs, a pretend Queen ingesting tea in mattress and a pretend Donald Trump partying with the KKK – has organised a phoney coronation full with Charles and Camilla lookalikes and horse-drawn carriage. And it seems that she wants a footman to open carriage doorways and light-weight Camilla’s fags. What can presumably go unsuitable?
11am: Grove Gallery, Mayfair
Arriving on the residence of Jackson’s newest exhibition, that includes Camilla in her underwear, Harry and Wills wrestling and Kate and Meghan catfighting. I modify into my footman’s uniform of flouncy white shirt, crimson jacket, prime hat and (breathe in) worryingly cosy pantaloons. I discover an excited Jackson and her Camilla – 81-year-old ex-nurse Wendy Crawley – chatting about how even lookalikes appeal to the paparazzi.
“I used to be outdoors the hospital when among the infants had been born,” says Wendy, referring to Kate and William’s kids George, Charlotte and Louis and Harry and Meghan’s Archie and Lilibet. “The paparazzi thought: Camilla’s right here, ready for the grandchildren to be born. It was pretty. I felt as if I used to be actually ready for my grandchildren to reach.”